Resources & Recommendations
These are the books, films, podcasts, and organizations that have shaped my work and my thinking. Some of them cracked me open. Some gave me language for things I’d been feeling but couldn’t name. All of them are here because I believe they can do the same for you.
Books
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski – A deeply affirming exploration of how desire, arousal, and pleasure actually work in women’s bodies. Nagoski dismantles the myths with warmth and science, and makes a case for trusting your own experience over cultural scripts. (Embodiment)
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk – This is foundational reading for understanding how trauma lives in the body and how healing happens through the body, not just the mind. It changed the way I think about embodiment, grief, and what it means to feel safe. (Embodiment) (Grief)
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor – A powerful call to radical self-love that connects body shame to larger systems of oppression. Taylor’s writing is fierce and tender, and it reframes the work of embodiment as inherently political. (Embodiment)
Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts – A thoughtful, queer-affirming look at how shame shapes our relationship to desire, pleasure, and identity. Roberts writes with real compassion, and this book is especially meaningful for anyone untangling religious messages about the body. (Embodiment)
With Sprinkles on Top by Stefani Goerlich – This book is fantastic for couples navigating different sexual interests, especially when one partner is vanilla and the other is drawn to kink or BDSM. Goerlich focuses on building bridges, mutual respect, and learning to genuinely understand each other rather than just tolerating difference. (Embodiment)
The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker – Becker’s central argument is that the fear of death drives most of human behavior, culture, and meaning-making. It’s dense and philosophical, but it will reshape how you understand why we avoid the conversations I build my work around. (Death & Dying)
Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande – Gawande examines how medicine has failed the dying by prioritizing treatment over quality of life. It’s an essential read for anyone navigating end-of-life decisions, and a book I recommend to nearly every client. (Death & Dying)
The Art of Dying Well by Katy Butler – A practical and compassionate guide to preparing for death, from advance directives to the emotional and spiritual dimensions of letting go. Butler writes with clarity and honesty about what good dying can look like. (Death & Dying)
The Law of Human Remains by Tanya Marsh – If you’ve ever wondered about the legal landscape surrounding what happens to our bodies after death, this is the book. Marsh is rigorous and accessible, and this work fills a gap most people don’t know exists. (Death & Dying)
Briefly Perfectly Human by Alua Arthur – Alua Arthur is a death doula whose writing radiates warmth and wisdom. This memoir explores how proximity to death clarified what it means to live fully. It’s the book I wish I could hand to everyone who asks what I do. (Death & Dying)
It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine – Megan Devine refuses to offer the hollow comfort our culture defaults to around grief. This book validates the reality that some losses don’t get better, and that grief isn’t a problem to be solved. It’s one of the most honest things I’ve ever read about loss. (Caregiving/Grief)
Renegade Grief by Carla Fernandez – This book bucks traditional expectations for grief and advocates for open, creative, and community-focused ways to ride the roller coaster of loss. It gives permission to let your grief be entirely unique without it having to be isolating. (Caregiving/Grief)
The Unexpected Journey by Emma Heming Willis – Caring for someone with dementia is a different kind of caregiving, one that challenges you in ways nothing else quite does. Willis writes from her personal experience as care partner to her husband Bruce Willis, weaving in expert advice alongside her own journey. It’s deeply personal and incredibly useful. (Caregiving/Grief)
A Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion – Didion’s account of the year following her husband’s death is precise, devastating, and beautiful. She writes about grief the way it actually feels: disorienting, nonlinear, and shot through with the mundane. A classic for a reason. (Caregiving/Grief)
Films & TV
How to Die in Oregon (Documentary) A searing and intimate documentary about Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act. It follows terminally ill individuals navigating the choice to die on their own terms. It’s unflinching, and it will stay with you. (Death & Dying)
A Will for the Woods (Documentary) A gentle, lyrical film about green burial and one man’s wish for his death to give back to the earth. It’s a beautiful entry point for anyone curious about alternatives to conventional burial. (Death & Dying)
Take Me Out Feet First (Documentary) A personal and intimate look at medical aid in dying, how it works and how families cope before and after. It profiles 25 terminally ill people and brings you close enough to understand what this choice actually looks like from the inside. (Death & Dying)
Come See Me in the Good Light (Documentary) A beautiful, intimate, joyful, and heartbreaking story of love in the face of loss. Poets Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley give viewers a window into facing a terminal cancer diagnosis, how to face death, and ultimately what it means to truly live. (Death & Dying)
Dying for Sex (Series) This one is a crossover of exactly the work I do. It looks at autonomy in death, finding your own voice, support, caregiving, relationships, and discovering your own body and sexual pleasure all at the same time. It made me ugly cry and laugh out loud repeatedly. If you want to understand why I believe these topics belong together, start here. (Death & Dying) (Embodiment)
Yonder (Series) This one looks at the ethics, both individually and culturally, of trying to control death, how grief is handled, and the possible pros and cons of using technology to impact our lives, our deaths, and the afterlife. It raises more questions than it answers, and that’s exactly why it’s worth watching. (Grief)
Podcasts
Terrible, Thanks for Asking — hosted by Nora McInerny Nora McInerny brings humor and honesty to conversations about grief, loss, and the hard things people are actually going through. It’s one of the best grief-adjacent podcasts out there, and it never talks down to its audience. (Caregiving & Grief)
Death in the Afternoon This podcast covers all things death. It dispels myths about death and dead bodies, and looks at the history and stories that have shaped our cultural view of dying. It’s a great companion for anyone starting to get curious about the death-positive space. (Death & Dying)
We Need to Talk About Death This podcast is for anyone dealing with loss or facing their own mortality. It covers death from end-of-life planning to death-positive resources, and names the fears most people try to avoid. A really accessible entry point for the conversation. (Death & Dying)
Parting I love this one because it’s led by young people, which brings a completely different perspective to death, dying, and grief. It’s full of stories, conversations, and open dialogue that prove these topics don’t belong to any one generation. (Death & Dying) (Caregiving & Grief)
Organizations
Order of the Good Death — orderofthegooddeath.com Founded by Caitlin Doughty, this collective of funeral industry professionals, academics, and artists is dedicated to making death a part of public conversation. A fantastic starting point for anyone drawn to the death-positive movement. (Death & Dying)
Compassion & Choices — compassionandchoices.org The leading nonprofit working to expand end-of-life options, including medical aid in dying. They offer resources on advance care planning and advocate for policy change at the state and federal level. (Death & Dying)
The Modern Mortician — themodernmortician.com A fantastic resource for anyone interested in natural burial options by state and progressive end-of-life education for both people and pets. It’s practical, accessible, and covers ground that’s surprisingly hard to find elsewhere. (Death & Dying)
The Conversation Project — theconversationproject.org An incredibly useful resource with two standout pieces: the Conversation Starter Guide, which offers an easy-to-follow breakdown of healthcare needs and the conversations worth having, and the stories area, which highlights legacies and the real human experiences behind end-of-life planning. It’s a great first step for anyone who knows they need to have the conversation but doesn’t know where to begin. (Death & Dying)
This list will keep growing. If you’ve read, watched, or listened to something that changed how you think about death, grief, or embodiment, I’d love to hear about it. Reach out through my contact page and tell me what moved you.